Pen To Paper

Go away with me

I go away all the time

In my mind at least

My body won't follow

At least I can get lost in my mind

Writing, expressing, exploring and such

Keeping a log, with each new page neatly creased

It's dark and it's solemn, it's lonely and cold

Pen put to paper, it's daring a bold

It's a secret, kind of, what goes on in my head

It's personal, not to be written or said

I can't keep in it, I need to express

Eject from my mind, all this crap in excess

The worry and fret, and fighting the fear

Anxiety and guilt, feeling tho I'm not even here

To write in rhyme to me is soothing

But so FUCKING cliche

Tho making it easier for me to vent

Fuck it, I don't care what you say

Dreams are unreasonable.
Slumber dreams are not real.
Waking dreams must be the same.
Life is short.
Why waste it in a dream.

Nothing is what it seems.
Happy on the outside,
Terrified on the inside.
Pain pushing through.
Seeping slowly to the surface,
Til you can't hold it in.

Sadness.
It's a weakness.
Happiness.
It's a virtue.
Polar opposites.

There's a story.
Behind every person.
There's a reason.
Why they are.
The way they are.

They don't choose this.
The past created them.
Not by there choice.
Sometimes it's impossible.
To fix them.

Pain And Happiness of LIFE

You're my friend

You're my best friend

Pain is a part of life

Happiness is part of life

Embrace your pain

Embrace your happiness

Make it a part of you

You can't just give up

You cant just give in

Life is hard

Life is full of pain

And what not

But we take it

Because we CAN take it

Because thats what we do

And we CAN do it

Because we ARE strong inside

And we CAN be strong inside

Because we have friends

Because we have family

We help each other

That's what we do

Suffocation at its FINEST

Alone with the weight of a million people pushing down on you

Suffocation at its finest

Smothering you just enough that it is painful

Yet not enough to take your life

Forced to do everything everyone else thinks you need to do

Why do we as humans feel the need to give unwanted advice

Like we could live someone else's life better, so we tell our opinion

Yet no one that I know can seem to get their own fucking life straight

Alone would be nice

Not necessarily alone by means of people but by means of politics

A nice quaint, yet large roomy cabin in the wilderness

A farm and garden, away from the politics and drama of life

Sounds Cliché, but money is the root of all that is evil

Without money where would you be, under the bridge starving, cold and alone

Just like that bum that you told to fuck off the other day because he looked at you

With shame in his eyes, and asked for a dollar to get a sandwich

Why is it not Ok to want to be me

Why does everyone , every single person that I know or have known

Tell me that I am weird, and strange, they look at me like I am on Crack

In reality, I am just not afraid to be myself, to please myself

Who cares what other people think of you

When they have judged, and stereotyped you within the first 2 seconds of seeing you

What ever happened to, it is what's on the inside that counts

I think it was all a big fat lie. I don't think it has ever been that way for 90% of our population.

I remember my first grade teacher said those words

I took those words to heart, and have abided by them since that day

And since that day, I guess I have tested if others abide by it

By coloring my hair. By wearing things that I want because I enjoy it

Not because I think some schmo will think its hot or cute are rad

But purely because it gives me pleasure,

And this also give me an opportunity to weed out the fake judgmental people

Does that comment make me judgmental? I think that it almost does

I hate that certain people think that they can have control of your life

And in a way they can, only because you either don't have the resources to rebut

Or you are just a bitch for telling them to fuck off and mind their own businessIf I wanted your god dam opinion or advice, I would ask for it!

23, 23, 23, & YES 23

Here are a few of the things that I have found out about the number 23:



•Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes.

•The pattern of DNA shows irregular connections at every 23rd section.

•Humans have 23 vertebra running down the main part of their spines.

•Blood circulates the body on average every 23 seconds.

•The average head of human hair can support 23 tons of weight.

•Measure the circumference of your head in inches and see what you get!

•The golden section, an ancient progression of whole numbers represented by the series 2,3,5,8 etc. is repeated again and again in Nature.

•Biological symmetry also mirrors the importance of the number five [i.e. five main bits spread out like a starfish, arms, legs, head etc., then five fingers, etc.].

•Five (2+3), is an immensely significant number in all ancient and some modern rites and rituals. Take the pentagram and modern [post-Crowley and Chaos] magick.

•The male and female sexual cycles run on different scales. Male cycle: 23 days. Female cycle 28 days [lunar month]. You blokes out there may not know about your sexual cycle but if you were a Tantrist doing your sex magic on a regular basis then you would!

•The I-Ching, practised by Taoist scholars since one thousand BC, uses coins (of which tails value 2 and heads value 3) to create a process of divination that views past, future and present as a whole. Central to the philosophy is the realisation that current reflection and meditation will effect the course of events. The I-Ching provides no set predictions but shows a possible course on one fractal arm of the future.The 23rd hexagram of the I-Ching signifies Chaos, Disintegration. It's a timely reminder that if you create order and take it too far you set the store for it to implode and wipe out what you have been working for, sound familiar? Thus 23 has a strong theme of rejection of modern materialistic values..

•The 23rd crops up around all of the Solstice and Equinox dates, again creating a stronger link between us humans and the Universal forces of nature that act upon us. You can reject and ignore these forces as much as you want but the seasons still affect you more than you can possibly imagine. Now this is something that I WAS aware of and the Solstices have always been a intriguing time for me as they mark the coming and going of the seasons and form a strong link to our ancestors. For them of course these times were of tremendous cosmic and spiritual significance [is there any need to mention Stonehenge?].

•December 23, 2012 is the day the classic Mayans said the world would end.

•The human biorhythm cycle is 23 days long.

•The Harmonic Convergence occurs every 23,000 years.

•Geosynchronous orbit occurs at 23,000 miles above Earth's surface.

Now, up until now I had been thinking somewhat along the lines of this.... "Ok these 23s keep coming round the corner when I least expect them. The one about the 23 pairs of Chromosomes is a good one but maybe the other ones are just reflections of that?"


Then as they all started to add up I thought... "Naahh, there's something spooky going on!"


One of the thoughts that entered my mind [on one of those rare occasions] was that the number 23 was pretty arbitrary, not just in that it could be any number that cropped up, for I am pretty sure that 23 exceeded all percentage tests that you could devise for it. The reason that I think that it was arbitrary is that 23 along with all other numbers is a human creation. After all we made up the number system dividing everything into these bizarre units that have no real scientific explanation.

Einstein once said;  "God doesn't play dice with the Universe". This was a very frim opinion that he held. But I say how the fuck do you know you dead fucker?!?! So It is my firm opinion that no-one should hold firm opinions."



23s for me reminds me to trigger the skeptic mechanism. You shouldn't believe anything you read 'cause for all the convincing references and "proofs", at the end of the day we know Jack Shit. I knoqw JACK SHIT!

BUT BEING THE HYPOCRITE THAT I AM, I STILL FIND 23 IN AND ON EVERYTHING.

Now that I have infected you, see if you don't see 23 at least once a day.



You may argue that you could pick any random number and have the same affect, but I have personally found this to be untrue.



Well OK the end for now.



Brosia
B + R + O + S + I + A =64
2 + 18+15+19+ 9 + 1 = 64

64/2=32

32 IS 23 TRANSPOSED........